A King, A Gambler, and Ex-General Walk Into a Bar
by Valkyrie Celes
Summary: When Setzer, Edgar, and Celes go on a routine supply run, They decide to stop off at a bar and have some fun. World of Ruin fluff fic, R&R
Bars weren't the boom they used to be when the world was in shambles. Too many people were busy trying to piece their lives back together, others just didn't have the money to fuel their vices. The barkeep kept the place open, call it one of his own vices: He'd rather be at the tavern, then at home wondering what meaning his life had any longer. The bottles of ale and whisky kept him company, he wanted to keep it that way. This night, however, was a bit different. And a night he wouldn't forget.

"Why are we here again?"

"Why does one usually come to a tavern, milady?"

A scoff.

"We shouldn't be wasting time here, what we should be doing is-"

"Playing some blackjack?"

"Courting some women?"

"Looking for the others. Honestly, why do I put up with the two of you again?"

Three patrons walked into a bar: Two blonds, and a man with silver hair. The barkeep eyed them suspiciously for a moment, until his eyes dawned with recollection.

"Gabbiani?"

The silver haired man turned his head.

"Ah, Ryan! Didn't realize we were stumbling into this old dump. Just wanted a place to unwind, you see."

"Old dump, ay?" Ryan chuckled. "I see you haven't changed much. And who are…" his eyes fell upon the two blonds.

"Ah, let me introduce you," Setzer gave a lavish bow. "To my Lady Celes Chere, and King Edgar of Figaro."

Celes glared.

"Do you ever stop? Honestly."

"Indeed! No need for such formalities," Edgar draped his arms around both his companions. "We are among friends, after all. A friend of Setzer's is a friend of ours," he flashed Ryan a toothy smile, which in turn made Celes roll her eyes.

"Ah, well," Ryan gave Setzer's crew another glance. "I suppose…that's alright, then. What can I do ya for? Some of the usual?"

"Yes, that would be grand. Bring it to my usual table. And now, let us be off!"

Not breaking contact, Setzer directed the trio to a table next to one of the back windows. Setzer and Edgar spoke to one another animatedly, while Celes grumbled all the while. The barkeep simply rolled his eyes.

"Gabbiani, the company you keep…has never been normal. But what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:

"And then the lady said, that's not my leg, it's a chocobo feather!"

A few hours, and pitchers of ale later, Edgar and Setzer were exchanging stories that weren't necessarily fit for mixed company. Celes had yet to take a sip of her drink, opting to pin either man with an irritated glare by each tales end. Neither of them noticed, though: far to inebriated to care.

"That reminds me," Setzer slurred as he sloshed his drink. "Of a night I had with Maria…"

"Do tell, do tell!" Edgar boomed. "Why I'm sure she's rather…" he gestured wildly with his hands. Setzer nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh, that's the tip of the iceberg! Though I'm sure Celes would be a better judge of that," he laughed hysterically. "Am I right? Am I right!"

"You aren't serious," she deadpanned.

"Dead serious," he veered dangerously close to her face. "So serious, that I…I…"

"You what?" she backed her chair away.

"Let's play poker!"

Celes eyes widened.

"What!?"

In an instant, Setzer backed away and pulled a deck of cards from his pocket, and began to shuffle sloppily.

"Always good to throw another chip in the pile. How better to do that, than with poker?"

"You aren't making a lick of sense."

"He's making perfect sense! You've got to fold the chips when the cards are down, play until you hit 21!" Edgar chimed in.

"That's it!"

Celes stood and pinned the two of them with the most severe glare she could muster. The only purpose it served, was to make them bust out laughing.

"What is the matter with you two? We should be looking for everyone else, not sitting here, getting drunk off of our asses. This was supposed to be a simple supply run, and look what the both of you have turned it into! Stop acting like children and-"

"Oh come off it Celes," Edgar sobered. "We know all of that. Of course it's in the forefront of our minds. It doesn't stop us from enjoying our small victories, and wanting to celebrate them. Small victories like finding one another, for example. Can't you just relax, and bask in the moment for a change?"

"You only live once," Setzer added. "And only have fleeting moments to cherish. Don't squander them being all serious."

The woman sighed. She looked from Edgar, to Setzer, to her full glass of alcohol.

"Only live once, huh?"

The slightest of smiles graced her lips. With a shrug, she picked up the ale, and downed it in one go. The duo cheered.

That night, the three of them returned to the Falcon, chattering boisterously and stumbling over each other. When Setzer finally got the hatch open, the trio didn't make it any further than the couch in the central living quarters.

"See Celes," Setzer mumbled as he lulled towards her. "Wasn't that better than being…being…you…." His head plopped onto her shoulder.

"I take…offense to….that," she replied with a yawn. She hit Edgar in the head as she relaxed.

"Watch it," he slurred. He was half hanging off the couch. "A King needs his beauty sleep."

"Mmmhm," she tipped over, no longer able to hold Setzers weight. "Do you say that to all the girls?"

"Just the pretty ones."

"That doesn't make sense."

"You don't make sense."

"Edgar..."

"Ceeeeles…."

"Edgaaar,"

They continued on like that until they fell asleep.

"I thought I heard them come in a few minutes ago…what the?"

Sabin and Cyan had ventured into the living quarters after hearing the commotion. The monk chuckled, while the knight shook his head.

"Didn't think they'd get you, Celes," Sabin laughed. "What a hangover you'll be sleeping off!"

"Should we wake them?" Cyan asked.

Sabin took another look at the sad state of his friends: Setzer had now completely curled himself onto one couch cushion, his head in Celes lap, while Celes' head rested on Edgar's chest, her hair a mess of tangles strewn across the floor. Edgar hung half off the fixture: his torso taking up the bulk of the opposite cushion.

"Nah," Sabin walked back to his room. "Let them be. Probably just some form of de-stressing they roped Celes into. Besides, it's going to be a lot funnier when they wake up in the morning."

Cyan quirked a smile.

"Very well. Goodnight, Sir Sabin."

The next morning, Celes woke up to her first hangover, and her first drunken dogpile.

"Get off of me, you idiots!"

I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:

A/N: I'm back-ish! I have had this idea for a while, and finally sat down to write it. I adore Setzer, Celes, and Edgar as a trio of besties, so just had to write some fluffy fiction to accompany that. Plus, Celes is the perfect comedic straight woman XD hope you enjoyed reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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